As goes the marriage, so goes the family.

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Becoming Trained Marriage Mentors


Do you have a healthy marriage that you know is the result of the Lord’s grace and blessing?

Does your heart ache about the floodtide of marriage and family breakdown everywhere?

Would you like to see the Lord use your healthy marriage to help a struggling marriage thrive?

Or, to help an engaged couple enter marriage much better prepared for a lifetime together?

If you answered yes to the first two questions and even “maybe” to the last two, and have been married at least seven years, you may very well be a candidate couple to be trained as marriage mentors in Marriage Mentors marriage mentor program.

Marriage Mentors has about 100 such trained marriage mentor couples in St. Joseph, Elkhart, Kosciusko, & Marshall Counties of Indiana and Berrien County, Michigan.  Yet, more are needed. You need not have any formal training or experience in marriage or family teaching/training, or counseling.

In fact, the requirements for qualifying as a couple to participate in our marriage mentor training program are simply this:

  1. You both have a growing personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
  2. You endorse the Statement of Faith as found underneath the About Us tab at the top of the homepage of this website.
  3. You have been married at least seven years.
  4. Your marriage is “stable and growing”.

I know, # 4 is the one you want clarified. Here it is: stable as opposed to unstable; and, growing in the sense that you both continue to work at adjusting and adapting to one another.

That’s it! My experience since 2002 tells us that most any Christian couple meeting these requirements makes a good candidate to be trained as mentors in our marriage mentor program. I can hear your objections: We can’t mentor another married or engaged couple; we still have conflict in our marriage at times. We can’t do this; ours is not a model marriage by any means.

How can we be marriage mentors when ours is not a first marriage for one/both of us?

Actually, none of those three objections disqualify you from becoming marriage mentors in this program.

All couples experience conflict. The difference between a mentor couple and the struggling couple they are mentoring is that the mentor couple is learning and growing from their conflict whereas the “mentee” couple is not and is in fact, spiraling downward.

Of course you still have some conflict; if you did not, your mentee couple could not relate to you or get help from you. And remember, the couple you will be mentoring will have significantly more conflict in their marriage than you do. There is no such thing as a “model” marriage, and certainly there are no “perfect” ones. Just another myth some have bought in to.

But you could say, in a sense, that there are basically healthy marriages and unhealthy marriages. If yours is healthy, please consider allowing the Lord to use it to help one that is unhealthy (as per that couple’s own confession that it is so).

About 15% of the couples in our “pool” of trained marriage mentors are in a healthy second marriage. Not only do they make excellent marriage mentors, they are in quite popular demand. Not infrequently, I have a mentee couple I am processing in to the program who are in an at-risk second marriage tell me they will not do the program unless they are in fact paired with a mentor couple in a healthy second marriage. The reason for that is obvious—they want a mentor couple who understands from experience what a failed marriage is like, and who, like them, is determined to avoid that failure a second time.

We desperately need more such mentor couples!

So, why not contact me so we can at least chat about the possibility of you becoming “equipped to do the work of the ministry” (Ephesians 4:12) and discover how the Lord can use your marriage to see another marriage survive and thrive?

Or, to help an engaged couple enter marriage much better prepared for that lifetime commitment?

I can think of very few things as exciting and fulfilling as knowing that the Lord can use my marriage to help another marriage stay together or become much more healthy and experience all of the positive “ripple effects” that go with that. And, few things are as fulfilling as helping a couple avoid the heartbreaking negative ripple effects of marital breakdown! The Lord wants to raise up and equip an army of marriage mentors to help stop the floodtide of marital and family breakdown in Michiana.

Is He calling you to join that army? Contact me through this website today!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Paul Spasic

Marriage Mentors